Guerrilla Cuisine
Or
Restaurant
Ronin
An Original Screenplay
By
GENERAL SUMMARY AND PITCH:
Restaurant Ronin is a 4 to 5 minute action-comedy
film covering a “night-in-the-life-of” four cooks who do not own
their own restaurant but instead use methods of hostile take-over to seize
restaurants and serve food. The
most crucial aspect of the film is the use of linear narrative to “pull
the rug out from under” the audience. The film begins
with an intentionally warm and innocent feel that
suddenly changes when the cooks finally enter the restaurant with weapons and
humorously drastic intentions.
FADE IN:
The
opening scene follows JEN from
her car into the interior of the restaurant where she confronts her manager. The scene begins outside on a beautiful
spring day. An overhead crane shot
moves down to reveal a car parking in front of the restaurant. Inside the car, JEN leans toward the dash and pulls the
parking brake in. Opening her
purse, JEN reaches inside and
pulls out a tube of lipstick and applies it hastily, checking her hair in the
rear view mirror as she checks the locks, grabs her cup of coffee and opens the
door to her car. Nearly spilling
her coffee as she catches her heel in the car door, JEN dashes across the street and enters the restaurant.
Waiting for
JEN as she opens the door is the RESTAURANT MANAGER and the PRETENTIOUS WAITER,
both look irritated.
RESTAURANT MANAGER
[Looking up suddenly
and snarling] Jen, this is the
second day in a row you are late, what did I do to make you treat me with such
disrespect!
PRETENTIOUS WAITER
I think you have a curler in your hair. [gesturing and laughing to himself]
JEN
[Snaps a nasty look at the PRETENTIOUS WAITER]
RESTAURANT MANAGER
I give you a job, I pay you, I invite you into my family and this THIS is how you repay my kindness. [Pulling at his hair and looking at the ground]
JEN
I…
PRETENTIOUS WAITER
RESTAURANT MANAGER
[Basically foaming at the mouth] I can’t even look at you anymore! [He storms off towards the kitchen]
JEN
[Shakes her head and sighs then looks over her shoulder]
CUT TO:
We HEAR the sounds of general outside ambience as we pan down into an overhead shot of the outdoor market. We SEE that STEVE, TONY, MIKE and DEX are making their way through the crowd towards the produce stands.
EXT. PRODUCE STAND
We SEE DEX’s face in CU standing in front of a rack of fresh produce, as we TRACK BACK he picks up a tomato and deeply inhales it’s aroma. After smelling the ripe tomato we SEE DEX turn around and yell to STEVE off-screen.
DEX
[Tossing the vegetable to STEVE] Hey! SALAD!
EXT. PRODUCE STAND
STEVE juggling too many pieces of produce whips around to talk to his friend and tries to catch the tomato in his pile of produce, he fails. The tomato splats on the pavement.
STEVE
[Looking down at the tomato and then back up at DEX, questioningly] Sauce?
DEX
Putz.
EXT. PRODUCE STAND
A few stands down, MIKE is buying pasta and spices. We SEE MIKE’s face and shoulders in CU as he surveys the merchandise before him.
MIKE
[Gesturing at onions] I want this one and this
one…[pause as the woman reaches for the
wrong onion] NO, NO! that one!
DEX
[From off-screen] For chrissake Mike, you give anal a bad name.
MIKE
[Looking off-screen and sputtering angrily at DEX] Surface bruises indicate improper pH balance within the core, producing excessive acids in the sauce thereby undermining the requisite flavor bouquet. A proper onion is picked two weeks prior to the natural maturation…
DEX
[Turning away from the still ranting MIKE and addressing STEVE] Hey, where’s Tony?
STEVE
[To DEX] Uh, I think I saw him like five...
MIKE
[In background, and suddenly realizing that he has been ignored by everyone, he yells] Sous chefs don’t understand chemistry…[quietly to himself] and neither do morons.
TONY
[Offscreen to the crew] Hey guys, come check this baby out!
EXT. KNIFE STAND
All the guys walk over to TONY and gape at the marvelous knives, alternately oohing and aahhhing. The final shot pays special attention to the meat cleaver in the set, we will see this knife again.
FADE OUT
FADE IN:
EXT. HOUSE, NIGHT
[Brief montage of the crew leaving their car and
walking up to the house.]
The four protagonists we have been introduced to arrive at what we assume to be a house they are renting in the nearby area. This scene provides a gradual introduction to the professions held by our characters. Like the Farmers Market, this scene is comprised mainly of brief montage maintaining the quick mysterious feel of the film.
INT. HOUSE
DEX
[Smiling] Goddamn this is gonna be a meal to-night!
MIKE
[To no one in particular] God, what time is it? We have to get going! Guys?
STEVE
[Still holding an armful of veggies and overburdened with bags] Can one of you guys help me with this?
TONY
[To Mike] Six o’ clock, [picks up bag and tosses it to STEVE] let’s
get this van loaded so we can leave in 15. Let’s… get cooking…[Cue to Music on “cooking”]
The following montage covers general preparation for the evening’s hostile take over. This includes, but is not limited to: A.) [Roaming Camera] Shots of Manila folder containing information on the host restaurant [Note: this information should not raise too much viewer suspicion of our characters actual professions] (i.e.: Schematics, map w/ red circles on it, floor plan of restaurant, surveillance photos of employees, miscellaneous information. B.) Shots of main characters in various states of “chef” dress, straightening each others jackets, etc. [Note: it is at this point that the audience should feel comfortable believing that the characters are indeed chefs] C.) Panning by a mysterious collection of black duffel bags. D.) Shots of “Chefs” shaving, brushing teeth, generally taking great care to look sharp for work. E.) Shots of Duffel bags being packed, all but ONE picked up off the bed and packed with vegetables, meat, pasta, etc.
Any additional dialogue will be added as is appropriate, note that this scene is more montage than actual dialogue.
FADE OUT
FADE IN:
INT. RESTAURANT DINING
ROOM, NIGHT
Returning to the restaurant JEN arrived
at earlier; we see JEN and the PRETENTIOUS WAITER serving patrons. There is a painful difference in the
waiting method employed by the two servers. JEN looks distracted
and awkward while the PRETENTIOUS WAITER could
not be more at home with his job.
JEN
[Walking around in typical server fashion, complete with carafe of ice water, she is talking to a customer] How is everything tonight sir?
MAN
Well, my pasta primavera is soggy, my wine is red not white like I asked for and the service here is horrible. How is everything with you?
JEN
Oh [looking shocked] um, fine I guess, I mean,
I’m sorry sir [as she continues rambling
the PRETENTIOUS WAITER stops briefly to scowl at her
before he moves on to his own table.]
*INTERCUT IN:
EXT. BACK OF RESTAURANT,
NIGHT
This
scene comprises less than 15 seconds of actual film time but is crucial to the
viewers understanding of what is about to happen next. We FADE IN to a shot of the chefs
parking their SUV in the parking lot behind the restaurant, the dim fluorescent
light of the kitchen shines meekly from the entrance to the kitchen. The facial expressions of the chefs
have gone from jovial to deadly serious and they move with decided purpose,
perhaps too decidedly for chefs.
*INTERCUT
OUT:
PRETENTIOUS WAITER
[In his most nasal register] Monsieur, Madame, how is everything tonight? etc. {Improv. here OK}
PATRONS
[Beaming with delight] Hmmm, well I can’t say that your recommendation of white wine compliments this meal very well. Frankly, the chicken is dry, the sauce is runny and the service here is horrible.
PRETENTIOUS WAITER
[Looks shocked for moment and then quickly regains
his dignity] Well, I am
sure Monsieur and Madame are entitled to a full refund.. [PRETENTIOUS WAITER turns up his nose and walks away
from the couple towards the back storage room.]
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN
[TONY, STEVE, DEX and MIKE kick through the back door
nearly running over a restaurant chef as they come charging through. These shots will be captured by
mini-steadicam as fluid motion shots through the kitchen and storage area.]
CHEF1
[Glaring angrily] Who the fuck are…[CHEF1 is grabbed by the throat and held firmly by
DEX]
TONY
[Shifting his eyes back and forth, he leans down and
opens the black duffel bag revealing the weapons inside. He hands one to DEX.] Dex,
I’ll grab the manager and secure the stove, I’ll meet you in the
middle!
CHEF1
[Turning purple, clutching at his neck and gurgling] Gurgle, gasp, etc.
DEX
Uh, huh
TONY
[TONY pulls two more guns out of the bag and tosses
one to STEVE and another to MIKE, he then throws the bag into the corner and
runs out of frame} DEX smiles grimly and rushes out of frame through the
storage area with CHEF1 in tow, we follow MIKE through the storage area as
he grabs CHEF2 and drags him over to DEX in the corner. MIKE tosses CHEF2 to the ground next
to CHEF1. STEVE runs out of
frame into the dining room]
MIKE
You got a handle on this Dex?
DEX
[Standing over the cowering chefs, wielding an AR-15 assault rifle] Like nobody’s business.
MIKE
Good, I’ll be
right back with the tape. [MIKE exits the frame
and runs into the dining room]
CHEF1 & CHEF2
[Looking at each other nervously] Groan.
CUT TO:
INT. KITCHEN STOVE AREA
TONY
[TONY runs up to the RESTAURANT MANAGER and grabs
him, pulling him down to the ground before the patrons of the restaurant even
notice what happens, {INTERCUT SHOT of PRETENTIOUS WAITER looking confused}
TONY places the pistol next to the chefs head] Shhhhh…[TONY escorts the RESTAURANT MANAGER into the back room with
the other chefs.]
CUT TO:
INT. RESTAURANT DINING
ROOM
MIKE and STEVE run through the dining room waving their weapons and telling the screaming clientele to shut up. MIKE runs to the front door flips around the Open sign, turns off the patio lights and locks the door. Several shots show JEN and the PRETENTIOUS WAITER huddled in the corner, JEN seems to be doing much better than the PRETENTIOUS WAITER at handling the situation.
STEVE
[To the hostages] Ok, um, everything’s cool, just calm down, ok, please?
MIKE
[Walking back into the center of the dining room and
addressing the hostages]
Ok, everyone relax, we’re professionals, everything will be taken care of, please just relax and we will be out shortly with your food.
CUT TO:
INT. STORAGE AREA
During the siege, one of the restaurants chefs escaped and hid himself behind a pile of boxes.
ROGUE CHEF
[Sweating profusely and peeking over the boxes at DEX and his fellow captured chefs. MIKE’s comforting dialogue can be heard coming from the dining room] Oh my god, oh my god…what should I do, think think think…
CUT TO:
INT. RESTAURANT DINING
ROOM
MIKE
…So everything will be just fine if you… ma’am please sit back down, [Gesturing to his firearm] I don’t want to use this. Thank you. [Getting STEVE’s attention] Steve, the tape.
STEVE
Oh yeah, here. [STEVE tosses the roll of duct tape to MIKE]
MIKE
[Looking condescendingly at STEVE and speaking slowly] Ok, Steve I’m going to be right back ok? Keep everyone in their seats and I’ll be right back.
STEVE
Ok, everyone in
their seats, I got it. [MIKE exits the dining
room and moves back towards the storage area]
MIKE
[Muttering and shaking his head] Moron.
CUT TO:
INT. STORAGE ROOM
TONY, MIKE and
DEX are standing around the cluster of
captured chefs. We alternately
view this scene from individual shots and from the
ROGUE CHEF POV.
TONY
Tie em up and meet
me in the kitchen, Dex, go easy huh? [TONY
exits the frame toward the kitchen]
DEX
[Smiling as he pulls out a length of duct tape] Sure thing boss.
DEX and MIKE commence to wrap up their captives in the unforgiving gray tape, snickering to themselves as they work. All the while, the captured chefs make nervous eye contact with the ROGUE CHEF behind the stack of boxes.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. KITCHEN
As we fade in, TONY and MIKE are cooking furiously, sautéing and chopping out the meal that they will soon serve to their hostages. This scene is comprised mainly of cooking montage and POV shots of the ROGUE CHEF.
TONY
[Chopping green onions] Hey Dex, toss me that onion.
MIKE
Here ya go boss, capers?
[We watch TONY
toss the ingredient through the eyes of the ROGUE CHEF]
ROGUE CHEF
Ok, ok
ok…take this suckers! [The ROGUE CHEF
leaps out from his hiding place]
MIKE
[Looking up in the nick of time] Tony! Behind You!
[The ROGUE CHEF leaps from his hiding place, grabs a
paring knife from the table and tackles TONY. As they tumble to the ground we can see that TONY has a firm
grip on the ROGUE CHEF’s hand
[The cramped conditions of the kitchen and hallway
make it very difficult for MIKE to make a clear shot at the ROGUE CHEF. Unable
to do anything, MIKE keeps cooking the food and shouts to STEVE to help TONY.]
MIKE
Steve, get this guy outta here!
[DEX and STEVE rush into the hallway to find the men
still struggling for control of the knife. Unable to do anything in such a dangerous situation, DEX and
STEVE move out of the way and let the fight tumble into the dining room. To the further horror of the clientele,
the ROGUE CHEF pins down TONY and presses the knife to his throat. We see the ROGUE CHEF’s face in
CU as he presses the knife to TONY’s throat, suddenly the expression on
his face changes. The ROGUE CHEF
drops the knife to the ground and freezes, the camera PULLS BACK to reveal JEN
holding a gun to his head.]
JEN
[Whispering in the ROGUE CHEF’s ear] Don’t you have some tables to clear?
[The ROGUE CHEF is escorted into the back room by DEX
leaving TONY panting on the floor]
TONY
[Lying on the floor, panting and clutching his throat etc.] (Cough, cough) you got that right, thanks babe.
MIKE & STEVE
[In chorus] You alright boss?
TONY
[Walking back to the kitchen with renewed purpose, looking the camera directly in the eye] C’mon boys… lets make culinary history.
[A short cooking montage ensues that shows TONY and
MIKE putting the finishing touches on the meal, the shocked faces of the
clientele and the satisfied nods and grins of the crew.]
FADE OUT
FADE IN
INT. DINING ROOM
This is the final scene of the film. STEVE, DEX, MIKE and TONY all emerge from the kitchen carrying platters of steaming delicious looking food and carefully present it to the clientele. Initially frightened and uncomfortable, upon tasting the food the customers proclaim loudly how good it is and start eating and talking again. The crew assembles as if for a picture in the middle of the now happy customers and pose for the final shot/freeze.
FINAL FADE OUT
Character Breakdown:
Tony: Ambitious, clever, in control,
level-headed, calm, mastermind.
Dex: “Had to get it on” guy, nuts,
enthusiastic, violent, not so smart.
Steve: Silly, buddy type, lovable,
really stupid, emotionally unstable.
Mike: No one ever takes him seriously
enough!, professional, irritated constantly,
neat freak, perfectionist.
Jen: Sweet, lovable, fed up, pretty,
dangerous.
Pretentious Waiter: Arrogant Frenchman,
snobby, annoying.
Restaurant Manager: Passionate about
his restaurant, bottled up anger, like a
firecracker.